To be frank, I have felt emotionally mute since the beginning of this semester. Probably more than at any previous time in the past few years, I have “lost touch with my emotions,” although it is difficult to state precisely what that means. I know that I have feelings for people that I have not been acknowledging, either to myself or to those people. Rather than dealing with the people, I have ignored the emotions and focused on school as my distraction. I recognized this for the first time last week, or perhaps the week before. But simply acknowledging my sublimated emotions does not call them to the foreground. I believe, however, that there is a need to actually weep over what I have lost, or what I have allowed myself to lose. And I need to weep in order to move on. But I do not feel strongly enough to weep. It is like there is some sort of emotional blockage or dam beneath my consciousness, and I do not know how strong the force is that is building up behind that damn. Perhaps it is so powerful that once the dam breaks, I will be shattered. Or, perhaps the reason that it does not break is because there is not anything there, and my imagination is the only thing that is causing me to think it is so. But there is some emotion that is there, although I do not actually feel it. I somewhat feel like I am not a whole man, but only the outline. Is this the feeling that caused the idea that a person can lose one’s soul?
Sublimated Emotions
Published
Natural Causes 
Have you ever considered you may possibly be suffering from symptoms of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? Symptoms can be severe enough to “disrupt lives and to cause considerable distress”. Perhaps this is a link to your lack of emotional connection. I also feel the need to weep over things lost. Holding emotions in will only prolong your current status. Weeping has brought about much needed closure in my own life, at times unexpectedly. I suggest (if it’s possible) to change up your daily routine a bit. Take a different route home once, or twice a week even if it does take a bit longer.
SAD is possible, but not likely. I usually love the early fall more than any other time of year. I have spent more time inside lately, which is also a cause of SAD. But usually SAD hits my annually around late February/early March.
Emotions often play hide & seek with us, but never leave us. They are our friends and our enemies, that help us stay on guard. The fact that you acknowledged the state you are in, you are in touch with your inner self. And, that, my friend, is a good sign…. The next step is to allow the emotional rush that is knocking from beneath…. If it explodes, let it… and if it does not, just let it be….
Some are living without life. I wonder, are you?
Certainly over the past two or three months I have spent relatively little time socializing- I have seen my closest friends once or twice in the past month. That needs to change, but there is too much work to do for the moment. The middle of the semester is always rough on my social life. That’s just going to continue to be a fact of life as long as I am an adjuncting.
Having a social life is important for one’s overall health-we’re social beings, but having that has nothing to do with having life. Having life is something much more precious, beloved, and everlasting. Having life is the divine force within someone who’s made peace with God.
I have seen no evidence of any divinity in my own soul or in any others. Nor have I seen any evidence of God. What sort of evidence do you have to believe in this?
A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell. -C.S. Lewis
CS Lewis was an elegant writer, but he is no authority on higher truths.
Continuities –Walt Whitman
Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,
No birth, identity, form–no object of the world.
Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;
Appearance must not foil, nor shifted sphere confuse thy brain.
Ample are time and space–ample the fields of Nature.
The body, sluggish, aged, cold–the embers left from earlier fires,
The light in the eye grown dim, shall duly flame again;
The sun now low in the west rises for mornings and for noons continual;
To frozen clods ever the spring’s invisible law returns,
With grass and flowers and summer fruits and corn.
Thanks for that great poem.
Proof can be witnessed in the people that have humbled themselves before God-they are changed.
Why do you assume that when a person changes, that it must be the presence of God? People could change for all sorts of reasons. Instead, it seems quite possible that you are latching onto the cause that excites your imagination the most, rather than looking amongst the sober natural causes that are readily available to our direct experience.
What I wrote was not based on assumptions, the people that I’m referring to are people that have a story to tell on how God has changed their life. God’s unrelentless persue of our hearts will change our life once we surrender to Him. And a life that was once meaningless has a purpose. Yes, C.S. Lewis is an elegant writer. What I like about Lewis is that even though born in a Christian household, he sought out truth for himself and challenged religion in general. As you are probably well aware of, he accepted the Christian faith. Out of curiosity, what do believe is the meaning of life? That is if you have an answer.
I am not arguing with you that you saw people change. Seeing someone change and then believing that they have changed (insofar as you have seen the changes) is not an assumption. I have seen people change too. But to make the extra step and form the belief that God caused that change is an assumption, is it not? If it is not, what is it?
I have seen people change, but I have not seen God as the cause of that change. The person who changes has sometimes cited God as the cause. But the only conclusion that we can draw from that, without assumption, is that the change is accompanied by a belief that God caused the change. But the presence of that belief is not proof that God caused the change. Any step beyond that is an assumption. After all, I have seen many people change who believed that God was NOT the cause of that change. Instead, they point to other things, such as a shocking experience, a book the person read, self-reflection, therapy, or simply the slow change that is inevitable after a long accumulation of individually mundane experiences.
it’s a girl. a girl is responsible for what you are going through.
you will probably deny it on here but whatever..
Or maybe I was feeling guilty because I hadn’t spoken to a friend whom I knew was dying of cancer? Nah, I’m sure you know my mind better than I do.
Perhaps it has something to do with a woman? That is usually the case- the best remedy:
ice cream and a good/funny movie. It simultaneously gets your mind off the things that are making you feel heavy, and puts things in better prespective.